Cops and Computers
I had to go to the police station today before I came into work. I had to get my address verification done for my new passport and I had to follow up with this guy. So the guy at the desk makes me run around couple of times and I finally meet up the guy who is responsible for this. So after couple of questions he starts filling in some forms and then he asks me
Cop : So where do you work ?
me : I work in a computer company
cop : which one ?
me : Yahoo
cop : what ??
me : YAHOO.. thats a dot-com company
cop : what is dot-com ?
me : ( I start giving him keywords ) internet , web site , online
cop : aha… web design.. do you do web design
me : something like that ( did not want to sit and explain it to him )
cop : oh cool. My son is learning html.. can you get him a job
( at this point he stops filling up the form )
me : Ok…… I could do something for him..
cop : oh good. I have his resume with me..
( he calls another guy and asks him to get me 2 copies of the resume )
cop : so when can he join ?
me : umm… we have to see his skills.. conduct a test and then put him in a suitable job.
cop ( grumbling ): ok.. give me your mobile number.. I will contact you after a week and find out the status.
me : ok… ( do whatever stuff )
( I give me 200 bucks for doing the stuff .. he puts it in his pocket and then says )
cop : so where is the stuff from your company ?
me : Huh ?
cop : you know.. you computer people have loads of things to give away… get me t-shirts etc.
me : oh yeah… I will drop it off tomorrow..
( Rush out of the place… and I hope I never have to get back there… )
anyone wants to hire a person who knows html and vrml ?
why are u getting a *new* passport?
:)) And you gave him your mobile number?
My bike (older one – Splendor) was stolen from office in bangalore 2 years back. I went around the police station in Malleswaram for a week to get the FIR done, which should have been done on the first day itself.
Considering that I did not know even the K of kannada that time and the whole police station jing bang did not know anything other than (K)annada, I used to do the following –
– Never say that you are on a permanent job. You are a trainee and considering the current situation, do not get payed well.
– Never go there dressed like a slick guy, have some loose hair, signs of “need a shave”, exhausted feeling, low eyelids suggesting that you are tired, blah. :-p
– Even if you understand his hints about what *you* dont wanna do, but he wants you to do it for him, ask him to explain more in detail.
– If asked about father, tell him he is in a company which is not doing that well.
– MOST IMPORTANT – If the guy asks you to come after 2 days at 4 p.m., be there at 04:15 and start asking about him, bug others there by *just* asking about him.
Quite some lies there, I call them modified facts, not lies. But they helped me like anything. The guy finally took Just Rs. 50 from me and gave me the complete FIR and also assured that the Insurance will go through as he would pass it when he gets the report again.
And he did. I got 95% of my insurance amount. 😀
One of the reasons I loved and hated my Forensic job was for role reversals in such situations… …
We would make a cop wait while we chatted then bull shit for him not wearing his cap properly, make him salute us properly, point out countless mistakes in his requisistions… …
I hated it because they wouldn’t understand any other way – you get sick of acting bitchy 😉
wow :), That is a cool experience :D.
u rOcK
ROTFLMAO!
never cease to be amazed at the corruption ….. wonder if things will ever change .
Hopefully in a weeks time
Had to… my mobile no was right in front of him on the passport application form 🙁
aha.. that explain why he asked my salary… did give him a wrong amount though 🙂
Lucky bum
scene after a week:
kallu’s mobile rings:
tring tring….
kallu: Hello!
cop: when shud my son join your compnay?
Kallu: Eh?
cop: its me the constable who did your passport verification.
kallu: oh ok.What’s up with my passport?I still didnt get it.
cop: It will come dont worry.Tell me about my son’s job.When he should join?
kallu: Sorry.He is under-qualified.
cop: what?Grrr What do you mean?
kallu: yes sir he is not eligible for a job.
cop: ok then you are not eligible for a passport
kallu: What??
cop: yeah and dont forget to send me those tee shirts and caps. otherwsise will book you under IPC IPS IAS IFS section 1975,1976,1977 clause %#%$^#^# for %#$^%#%^$%$.
Kallu:
Sepalturaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
This is one of the funniest thing I’ve come across in a long time…
LOL
Read your comment wrong 🙂
anyway my old passport expires later this year and my visa is for 3 years… so had to get a new one